


Eagle When She Flies

by onechicagogurl



Category: Chicago Fire
Genre: BFFP, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-21
Updated: 2020-11-21
Packaged: 2021-03-10 07:08:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27659300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onechicagogurl/pseuds/onechicagogurl
Summary: My emotions are all over the place after 9x02 but it finally gave me some inspiration for my BFFP entry for November. I was also inspired by Dolly Parton and her beautiful song “Eagle When She Flies” which describes Sylvie Brett to a tee. If you haven’t heard it I highly recommend you do so.
Relationships: Sylvie Brett/Matthew Casey
Comments: 15
Kudos: 78





	Eagle When She Flies

**Author's Note:**

> My emotions are all over the place after 9x02 but it finally gave me some inspiration for my BFFP entry for November. I was also inspired by Dolly Parton and her beautiful song “Eagle When She Flies” which describes Sylvie Brett to a tee. If you haven’t heard it I highly recommend you do so.

She hurts deep, and when she weeps  
She’s just as fragile as a child  
And she’s a sparrow when she’s broken  
But she’s an eagle when she flies 

Eagle When She Flies by Dolly Parton  
*****************************************************************************  
Sylvie stared at the cross stitch her mother had made for her hanging above the kitchen window. “When I started counting my blessings, my whole life turned around.” Easy for Willie Nelson to say, Sylvie thought bitterly. Not so much when you’d just made a complete fool of yourself and lost your closest friend in the process.  
Sylvie sighed and went back to the task at hand. Peeling potatoes for the impromptu Thanksgiving dinner she had proposed cooking for Matt, Kelly, and Stella when Chicago’s latest stay-at-home order had upended their plans. Matt to spend the day with his sister and niece, and Kelly taking Stella home to visit his mom. All of this before that night had happened and the conversation that followed in Matt’s quarters. She still couldn’t believe that Matt was back on her couch, drinking a beer and watching football, and wondered if Kelly and Stella had talked him into it.  
Sylvie thought back over the last few weeks. From being held at gunpoint to being driven off the overpass by Halleck so much had happened that she was just beginning to process it all. And the truth is she knows she and Gianna could have easily died in that crash. The airbags hadn’t even deployed and yet they walked away with barely a scratch. How was that possible? And then there was Matt.  
Stella was wrong. Telling Matt that she basically loved him was a mistake. It had made things awkward between them. No wait, that wasn’t entirely true. It was realizing Matt shared those feelings that had turned her head around. Made her avoid him. Matt hadn’t shown up at her door for some midnight booty call. It was genuine concern that he had done something wrong. And she knew deep down in her heart that he wouldn’t have returned her kiss or gone further than that if he didn’t love her, too. But she had to ask the question. She had to know if she was a placeholder for Gabby. And as devastating as his response was she was grateful for his honesty.  
What Sylvie hadn’t expected was Matt’s attitude next shift. She couldn’t even put a name to it. Sadness. Regret. Anger. When she went to his office to return his jacket and check on his latest injury he had surprised her by saying his feelings for her were real regardless of Gabby. But wasn’t that the point. There was no regardless of Gabby. Sylvie wasn’t the same small town girl who had allowed Harrison to emotionally manipulate her. She wasn’t even the same person from four years ago with Antonio or a year ago with Kyle. She knew her worth now, and it wasn’t to live in someone else’s shadow or to live up to someone else’s expectations of her. She was stronger than that.  
“Can I help with anything?”  
Sylvie just about jumped out of her skin at the sound of Matt’s voice. She looked up and saw that he was standing right at her elbow. Looking at her with what could only be described as puppy dog eyes.  
“Um, sure. You could set the table. The dishes are in the cupboard over the microwave.”  
Matt walked over to the counter and then turned back around. She knew by his fidgeting hands that he wanted to say something to her. Why did he have to be so adorable when she was trying to fall out of love with him. If he kept it up she was going to have to transfer out of firehouse 51, move back to Fowlerton, or maybe leave the country altogether.  
“I’d never let you leave ambo 61,” Matt said as if reading her mind. “Not for something I did. You have more than earned your PIC bars. And everyone respects and admires you at the house. I’d quit first before I let that happen.”  
“The CFD is short-staffed as it is. And even though Stella would make a great lieutenant for truck the house needs you, too. But I don’t think we can go back to the way things were, and being distracted by all of this would not be good for anyone when we are on calls. So I might just have to switch shifts at least.”  
“Sylvie, no.” Matt’s voice raised in alarm and then quickly lowered so as not to be heard over the television. “I can’t lose you.”  
“Matt, let’s not do this today. Set the table while I finish up with the potatoes and start the cranberry sauce. We’ll talk later, I promise.”  
“But we won’t, will we,” Matt said in frustration, raking his hand through his hair. “It’s like Hallie who never wanted to say anything that would hurt me so we ended up in this bizarre holding pattern for eight years ignoring how we wanted different things in life. And Gabby who felt like she couldn’t trust me enough to involve me in important life decisions. I thought we would be different. It’s one of the many things I love about you. That we can talk to each other about anything. Even you having the courage to ask me about Gabby is proof of that.”  
“And you gave me your answer. You’re still in love with her and I won’t compete with a ghost.”   
“I will always love Gabby. But loving someone and being in love with them are two different things and I’m just starting to realize that. It’s why I never acted on my feelings for you before. Why I slept with that creepy SMART girl. Hell, it’s why I went to the gala in the first place. Because that pull towards Gabby is almost magnetic. I can’t explain it. So yeah, when you asked me if I would go with her I had to be honest and say I don’t know. And besides, you told me to go to the gala.”   
“You slept with her, didn’t you?”   
“I did. And I don’t regret it. I know that hurts you even more and isn’t helping me make my case but I don’t. It’s almost like it had to happen if that makes sense. And the next morning she left me a voicemail asking me to spend my next furlough in Puerto Rico and I didn’t go.”   
“Because we’re in the middle of a pandemic and travel to and from Puerto Rico is restricted.”  
“Because I wanted to be with you,” Matt let out an exasperated sigh. “This is why I said it was complicated. Because I know the life I shared with Gabby is over. I know that I’m not still in love with her. But I feel guilty for it. I felt the same way after Hallie died. Like I don’t deserve to be happy. Especially not after everything Gabby and I went through.”   
Sylvie was at a loss for words. She’d never had someone bare their soul to her. It gave her a better understanding of where Matt was coming from, but could she trust him with her heart.   
“I’m a work in progress,” Matt said, breaking the silence. “But I want to do the work for you. More than anything I want my best friend back.”   
Sylvie walked over to Matt and hugged him. By his startled reaction she knew exactly what she had to say. She reached up to wipe away the tears that had started to run down his cheek.   
“Matt Casey, you deserve so much more than you can ever imagine. I don’t want to ever not be in love with you. I’m willing to take a chance on you. If you’re willing to take a chance on me.”   
Sylvie laid her head on Matt’s chest and felt his lips brush the top of her head. She still wasn’t sure about what lay ahead but she knew she wanted to face it with Matt. Maybe Willie Nelson had been right all along and her life was turning around.


End file.
